The very first thing I did when I was diagnosed with Autoimmune Thyroiditis was start a diary. More like a journal. This article is my journey and I wish to narrate it from my perspective. I am no medical professional, but, I did find positive results following simpler ways and if this helps someone with their struggles, I could not be more glad.
When I graduated and settled for a job I liked, I was too high with the wad of money at the end of every month in my hands, to observe the monster growing inside of me. My food habits got unhealthier in the city and the never-ending shifts deteriorated my insides without even me noticing.
I had got tremors. That is where it all started. Those weekly meetings I used to enjoy, now had become hectic. I could not sit for more than five minutes without someone glaring at my tremors. It was humiliating and embarrassing. Nevertheless, sadly, whenever I did tremble, I just thought the Air Conditioner was too much and that I was intolerant to cold.
The hell broke loose when the constant headaches made my life miserable. I was almost convinced that something cancerous was imminent. With school loans still in the bank, I could not afford to lose my job. When “those days of the month” were no longer endurable, it was inevitable to consult a physician.
Thankfully, it was just a plain case of malnutrition. Yes, that was it. I had to take my share of vitamins and I would be alright, or so I thought. A short span of attention on my diet and a few pills ameliorated my life temporarily.
When I switched the job, the commute was longer, hence, I had to be more physical. My appetite increased, or to be accurate, became recurrent. In fact, I could not stand being hungry. I could say my metabolism peaked gradually. After the intermittent throat infections, the signs had started getting to me.
This time, I did not procrastinate.
The lab tests suggested by my physician (TSH, free T4 levels, radioactive iodine scan, technetium scam) reported hyperactive thyroid glands. Judging by my regular diet, activities, and some history that mattered, he was almost certain it was an Autoimmune Disease.
I panicked for a moment of course because it was all news to me. I did not know what it was, or how serious it was. One might say that thyroid disorders are pretty common and it is nothing to cry about. It is curable, or to be precise, manageable. I had never taken a pill my whole life. Even in those times of the month, I suffered in silence, but never a pill. I have this unsettling trust issue towards the pharmaceutical industry. No offense. Now, suddenly, the thought of popping pills, may be forever, terrorized me, for sure.
My doctor said that in his medical practice, he had seen women developing thyroid malfunction after childbirth or during pregnancy. It was almost common and there was no other way but medication to avoid health complications in the future. Many women end up taking medicines for a long time.
Since my reports mentioned “recovering thyroiditis”, my doctor suggested that I avoid the medicines for the time being. “you are not even married yet. let us try to cure the inflammation through a good diet” he said. I was glad to see the prescription sheet. It said, “eat walnuts and drink plenty of hot fluids”. Okay, I could do that! Turning to a good diet is so old school though.
I was diagnosed with nodules (inflammation in the glands). A surgery to remove them meant a scar on my neck. Since he was not sure if it was a chronic illness, he didn’t have the heart to prescribe medicines. The reason being, a considerable percentage of subjects end up with medicines until lifetime. They can never stop. These medicines have a downside. Prolonged intake MIGHT reverse the mechanism. A hyperactive gland transitions into hypothyroidism state, which means developing lethargy, increased weight, constipation followed by respective medication.
It is an endless cycle for the unfortunate and it was normal for a sympathetic physician to put off that misery a bit for a young woman.
Despite my doc’s lengthy sessions explaining what had happened, what was about to happen, and what might happen, I wanted to know more about what was going on inside my body myself. I surfed over the internet, read papers, contacted my doctor friends, and whatnot. There were numerous theories as to why autoimmune diseases arise. Genetic factors, infections, or other environmental factors such as stress.
Before I move further, it might be beneficial to know the anatomy of the thyroid gland. There is plenty of information on the internet about the “where and how”, but, here is a brief one. The thyroid is a small gland in front of the neck. The food we eat gets converted to energy. The thyroid gland basically controls how that energy is used by the entire body by secreting two hormones T3 (triiodothyronine) and T4 ( thyroxine).
Hypothalamus in the brain releases a hormone called thyrotropin-releasing hormone. This hormone triggers the pituitary gland at the base of the skull to produce the thyroid-stimulating hormone (TSH). TSH helps the thyroid release T3 and T4. T3 is also produced from other tissues of the body by deiodination (converting T4 to T3).
If T3 and T4 levels in the blood are low, the pituitary gland releases more TSH (hypothyroidism) and if high, it will release less TSH (hyperthyroidism) in order to balance out the system.
It was after the TPO antibody test that my doctor had narrowed down everything to Autoimmune Thyroiditis. TPO (Thyroperoxidase) is a thyroid gland antigen. It acts as a catalyst in the oxidation of iodide in tyrosine (amino acid) residues in thyroglobulin (a protein) for the synthesis of T3 and T4. A high level of antibodies suggests an immunity system attacking the body’s own tissues causing inflammation in the gland.
Now that Covid has taken over the world, everyone might be hearing more of the human immune system. It guards the body against pathogens through fighter cells. Being diagnosed with Autoimmune Disease meant that these cells are mistaking the cells of their own body as foreign.
Why does this happen? A bad diet, food allergies, infections, genetics, environmental factors such as stress, could be anything.
My medical sessions narrowed down my plausible factors to an unhealthy diet and stress. I started to work on both of these and like I said earlier, I started a journal. I wanted to keep track of my routine and if any, improvement.
I had quit iodized products, made sure an “early to bed and early to rise” routine, and was vigilant of food allergies. The fast-food embargo was my first step unto wholesomeness.
I started digging a little deeper. Somewhere in my heart, I knew what I went through was because of both my internal as well as external trepidation. I had started eating healthy. But, it was not enough.
I am a spiritual person. Call me crazy, but I do surely believe in the magic in the wind, the spirit of the sun, the god in me, those sorts of things. A mere change of dietary practice might make oneself feel better. But, the annihilation of the ailment demands the demolition of the root of the problem.
STRESS has become such an N-word. You are at your work, You have a deadline and you are eager to finish off the task at hand. If you enjoy what you do, and you are good at what you do, you will certainly enjoy the idea of a deadline. It is a challenge. It is inspired and you love it. that is good stress. Good stress keeps people motivated and encourages them to be the better version of themselves every single time.
Then there is the bad stress. Time usually heals an event-related stress (like grieving over a lost one). It is a phase and no one can ever do anything about it except just live through it with all the strength they got. It is inevitable. But, anticipatory stress is a pain in the A. Maybe, very few of us have ever talked about this before. I wonder why because it is the root of most of our problems. It rises from the feeling of inadequacy and everyone has their childhood directly wired to this devil.
A constant reminder that you are not enough, often makes you a people pleaser. I grew up thinking I cared less and less for the world. But, i could not be more wrong.
Every child is unique and never to be compared. when this does not happen, we grow to be selfless adults with broken confidence and It takes a long time and lots of effort to heal. Every time a highly altruistic nature of someone, primarily developed to prove self-worth, meets with criticism, the person crumbles a bit more. Almost every child is implanted with the need to be a people pleaser, not necessarily deliberately. The main reason being parents disciplining the kids not to make them realize what they did was wrong, but about the fact that they did not make them happy.
I am 26 years old, female, Indian. I was a perky kid until puberty hit with quite a few surprises. Being a dark-skinned middle-class teen in India obviously meant a lot of criticism on the way. If you already did not know, South East Asia is highly known for its fondness towards fairness. In fact, it is a community where you can find racism within a single race, HAHA. JK.
Now, one might think I have gone off-topic. But, I assure you, I have not. Let us discuss the feeling of inadequacy some more. I was wee strolling across the village until I reached adolescence and found that my parents were unhappy about my appearance. I stood first in my class, almost always, but, that did not seem to matter to them much. I was criticized constantly, and I was not mature enough to realize that beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. Like most teenagers do, I would try things to hog people’s attention. This continued in other aspects of my life too, and I was too naïve to feel anything other than the inflated and false sense of self-importance. And as I already have said before, it all plummets down so fast when you understand the reality.
The key to my anxiety was the lack of self-content or confidence and the desire to be envied or admired. This knowledge is latent in all of us and I had my epiphany through meditation. I used to think meditation was a hoax and that people who do it are just faking a peaceful lifestyle. I had a few failures myself when I tried, probably because I did not exactly understand the concept and the whole process. A fellow colleague of mine had previously talked something about this to me. He said he saw some potential in me and I was almost convinced he was from a cult. I did not give much heed to what he said. He mentioned Astral Projection, which I did try once, with no discernible results.
I believe in Ayurveda. For those who do not know, it is a medical practice of ancient India. The system connects back to Vedic hymns. Let me say this to you before I move any further. No, I do not belong to any cult and this article is not intended to encourage anyone to consult an ayurvedic physician if you happen to have some illness. I mean, I never have. Ayurveda is an effective ancient medical practice in theory but the genuineness of practitioners is often questionable. The surviving manuscripts are mostly said to be replenished. But one can never go wrong with YOGA or meditation with the right guidance. These are the sister practices of Ayurveda. This happens to be my honest opinion from a humble perspective. Ayurveda believes in the soul and that a human being is a microcosmic replica of the universe.
Lack of correlation and imbalance in the body, or mind, or both is said to have been the cause of any illness. A simple placebo effect is enough to convince you that there is more to yourself than just your body.
When I did not find a complete cure through dietary practice, I decided to give meditation a try. When I read the theory of how it is done, it sounded like sorcery. When I sat and tried for the first time, I sure did find some solace. Although, it was easy to get interrupted. For the days to come, I would sit and be lost in my mind’s world. I would question myself and seek answers. Series of contemplations and self-reflection. As days went by, I found it easier not to be interrupted while flying through my chosen point of imaginative destination. This imaginative vision helped me self contemplate my way through the root of my problems. Readers who are interested in meditation might find Swami Vivekananda’s books extremely helpful.
As I won over serenity, my quotidian struggles seemed to gradually diminish. It took me a year but it was worth it. My endocrine system was back on track. I became realistic. I was humble on the good days and brave on the bad ones. After roughly a year, when I got tested, I was quite surprised at the results. I felt as if nothing bad ever happened. But, the inflammation did leave its mark and I do struggle a bit in the morning when I try and gag attempting to clear my throat. I have heard of Pranayama techniques in Yoga for healthy lungs and that might be the topic for another article if and when I find results.
According to many research papers, thyroid disorders are highly common, women being more susceptible. In a common household, girls are brought up to care more about the way they look than the power of their minds. If it is an internal struggle, you know what to do by now. Whereas, genetic factors of illness are the frightening ones. Anticipating with horror can be painful. If it is hardwired into your DNA, of course, the chances are presumed.
Thyroid dysfunction during pregnancy and postpartum thyroiditis are never to be neglected as they can have ill effects on the newborn baby as well as the mother.
Mine was a mild and primitive case of illness. I had the benefit of choosing between medication and meditation. I certainly do not intend to discourage anyone from seeking medical help. I know exactly how this can disrupt someone’s ordinary life. As soon as you know something is wrong, get tested. Listen to what the professionals have to say. If it is anywhere near to the situation where you know you can manage through a healthy lifestyle, I think you should definitely go for it and try your best.
Work on your hobbies, listen to your kind of music, speak to a tree (when no one is looking of course), go for a picnic, take a vacation, hang out with your real friends and treat yourself. Whatever you do, be responsible for your own happiness. I recently picked up some guitar lessons, and these are the only calluses I am happy about. Each one of us has our own stories and collecting them could help me generalize the article. I am all ears to suggestions, hence, if you do have any, please drop a mail. Buena Suerte!!!
lilkrish 